You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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