He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
