When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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