thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
