i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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