I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
