i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
