I got chris browned last night
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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