i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
