Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Someone shattered a urinal.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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