Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
