they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
