All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
