and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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