the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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