i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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