I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
