After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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