I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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