David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
