not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
