Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
