Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
