You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
