im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
