Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
