u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
