This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you will always have a special place in my vag
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i think my cat just said my name.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
