that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
