I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
