Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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