she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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