Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Is it penis luge time yet?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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