she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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