i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
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