Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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