the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
