He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
