What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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