yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
