we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
