I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
