She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
