Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
