We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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