who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
