that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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