Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
