And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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