hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
