and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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