you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
