Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
