so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
