You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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