So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
